Best Decision I Made
I started this meditation due to stress and depression. Then, I did not expect much from it, all I wanted were to feel more comfortable and confident in my life. However, what I have received so far is way beyond expectations. Reflecting back, I felt extremely lucky to having met and been transformed by the method.
My parents divorced when I was young. Growing up seeing them in dispute with each other all the times, I wondered how two people loved each other at the beginning ended up being enemies and whether or not the true love mentioned in Bible and Buddhist Sutra exists in this world. All I saw was the fleeting moment of happiness that faded away as time passes by.
Also, there are certain behaviors of my parents that I promised not to repeat. For example, I swore not to be as impatient and ambitious as my father, only to find myself struggling to achieve the best at whatever I do. How ironical it is. The more I tried to change the more desperate I felt. I tried to be nice by joining volunteer work. Despite enjoying them very much, deeply inside there stayed the fear of being abandoned and not being good enough. There was no peace of mind.
While doing the meditation, I could see with my mind how hypocritical and self-centred I was. I have said “I love you” to my family members, relatives, and friends, but in reality, it was me whom I love the most in my mind. It was me who thinks I am the best. I have lived as a liar tried to build up my own world of possession in the name of caring for others. Little wonder, there were always insecurities, conflicts, and fear in my life. Because of the self that I have carried in my mind, I could not live as nature. That is why I have suffered a lot. I am buried in the tomb of greed, inferiority, and countless attachments. However, I have walked down the street with my head held up high thinking I am very expensive and always anticipate what to do in order to gain more and more.
Here at the main centre in Korea people coming with many different stories and burdens on their shoulders but after doing the meditation we all agree that those stories are false and there is only one mind of the origin exists in the world.
I guess the best decision that I made was to open my mind to try this meditation although I used to have a lot of doubts and questions at the beginning. As time passed by and I could confirmed with my mind that it really works, my faith in the method became much firmer. I sincerely hope that you can start this meditation and continue it until the end.